To make matters worse, she said this while standing in front of a boy I liked. I was mortified and speechless. As any girl would do, I put my hand over my face and ran to the bathroom. I spent the rest of the day covering my mouth, making every effort to hide my shame. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.
I have been in a constant battle with my body in an effort not to look like the Bearded Lady, which is what they called the hirsute Annie Jones during her freak-show stardom in P.T. Barnum’s “Greatest Show on Earth” circus in the late 1800s. (She also grew out the hair on her head to an impressive six feet.) While I was in high school and college, however, my dark hair was only on my upper lip and could be easily remedied in the shower as I was shaving my legs. Three swipes on my face and done. Nobody would know my secret.
Then motherhood came. As if pregnancy and weight gain were not enough, the dark hair I had hid on my lip for years was starting to show up on my neck, chest, arms and chinny chin chin.
At first, it started with lone wolf hairs, single shoots sprouting up in random places. I could easily pluck and forget about it. As time passed, the lone wolf turned more into a cult following, getting thicker and thicker.
The Second Most Embarrassing Day